The Tell-Tale Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem


The issue with people with low self-esteem have, is that people that have it generally show if off in two different ways, they let it shine unintentionally, or they hide it with a mask. So because of these many different avenues it can be difficult to discern whether someone has low self-esteem.

In an effort to help identify people with self-esteem issues, I’ve compiled a list of symptoms to watch out for that are commonalities with just about everyone that have these kinds of issues. I myself used to suffer with each one of these at one time or another, so my heart goes out for the kinds of people of this nature, every time they truly show you who they are, they almost always turn out to be beautiful people!

1. They watch everything and anything people say about them

This one is classic in terms of those with low self-esteem. Normally they try to be rather subtle about how they go about this, but I’ve seen on more than one occasion someone getting right up in another person’s face to figure out some little comment someone mumbled about them.

It’s almost hawk like, and if they have even a sneaky suspicion that someone made some sort of comment about them, they’ll go to almost any lengths to try and find out what it is. Almost as if each thing someone says is how they feel about the person with low self-esteem.

2. They enjoy putting others down

I’d like to make this clear that it isn’t because they enjoy putting people down, they enjoy feeling like someone is lower on the totem pole then them. You’ll see this behavior in every single bully you encounter. When they feel that can’t get higher in a social situation, you’ll see that they target anyone who they view as smaller or weaker than them, and just rip into them, all this causes is a vicious vortex of confidence and self-esteem issues that may or may not ever get solved. Instead of trying to make people like them more, they just step on others so that they can’t be higher.

(Note: Bullying isn’t cool, just because you have low self-esteem doesn’t give you the right to harsh on people. Full disclosure, I used to do this in Elementary and Middle school, I had intense self-esteem and confidence issues at that time.

Eventually I figured out what I was doing wrong, stopped talking to the bullies, and sorted things out with the kids I used to bully, but that’s no excuse, I ruined a lot of potentially amazing friendships that way)

3. They say I’m sorry way too much

Some people I know do this now and most of my friends are in their mid-twenties. They have extremely low ideals about who they are and as a result, they think that they’re constantly messing up or inconveniencing others.

Even if the other person says that they have nothing to be sorry about, these folks will often times continue to apologize, sometimes for hours afterwards, simply because they fear losing loved ones. They are completely serious, if they fear abandonment, it could come from a past of abandonment, or feelings of previous abandonment that they suffered through, so be easy on these types of people.

4. They are INTENSLY defensive

A little more often than necessary, these people will be afraid that something as small as a joke will degrade the way people view them, and as a result will often times freak out on someone who says such slander. You have to remember that people with low self-esteem struggle with their self-image and how it relates to the people and world around them. If something upsets that view these people don’t react rationally, so when they fly off the handle, it’s not because they’re severely mad, it’s because they don’t know your intentions and don’t know how to react.

And finally…

5. Unreasonable Expectations

The reason I waited till last to list this one is because it strikes close to home. When I went through my bullying phase, I had one of my best friends help me bully another kid, and when he refused we got into a giant argument that almost ruined our relationship entirely. When someone has unreasonable expectations, they test how much those around them actually care about them. They ask them for something ridiculous, and if the person doesn’t do it (even after a huge fight) it’ll tell the person with low self-esteem that their friend or loved one can’t be trusted, which is almost always untrue, it’s just that persons ridiculous mindset.

If you suffer from these symptoms, or know someone who does these things, then they might have Low Self-Esteem. There’s nothing wrong with that, they just need to be encouraged, and often times they need someone to talk to. Everyone should know the feeling of High Self-Esteem and Confidence , as if you don’t have it can almost feel as if your living in a cage, which is easily one of the most terrifying things in the world…


Stevenson Grey

If you’d like to know more about Self-Esteem, click here!