10 Body Language Tips to Make You Confident and Connect


In terms of learning to keep yourself confident after you’ve become so, I was taught that there are generally two schools on the process. Josh Pellicier, writer of the book, the Tao of Badass, teaches in his book that the schools of thought are as follows:

If you can control your mind, you can control your body…


If you can control your body you can control your mind…

He then further states that you can’t use one or the other, because if you lose control of one, and it’s the one you depend on to maintain your ideology of confidence, it can be quite disastrous. So you simply work on maintaining it with either, which sounds difficult but I assure you it’s quite simplistic. In this post I’ll show you ten simple tricks that you can do with your body to show your confidence and keep yourself strong and able, assured in your ability to handle anything that’s thrown at you.

1. Smile

This is easily the simplest way to show confidence, we put so much power and effort behind one little gesture it can send people into fret of nerves just thinking about doing so in public. It’s a small change but if you start smiling, and start working on the two different kinds of smiles, you’ll begin to notice a much warmer reception from those whom you wish to communicate with, whether it is a male or female! Learn to project a smile, and with enough practice, it’ll light up a room and draw attention to you every time you flash that cheeky grin of yours.

2. Positive Eye Contact

When people say positive eye contact, they don’t mean an unblinking, almost angry stalker stare. They mean solid eye contact with your eyes smiling just so slightly. It ties in easily to having a smile across your face, and just allows the rest of your face to take a positive vibe that matches a natural smile.

Don’t forget to blink, unblinking is a little unnerving. If you get used to having positive eye contact then it brings a very connected feeling when you’re in conversation with someone. And shows a fire in your eyes that tells people that you’re a man/woman who knows what he/she wants.

3. Stand up Straight

Straighten out your back as you stand up, if you stand tall then it shows people that you aren’t afraid to show your full self. That you have the strength in your back and your core to face the world head on and the ability to carry everything the world throws at you because of the strength of your back and the power you possess. When people see you raised to your full height, it’s a natural and powerful sign of confidence, as it gives the appearance that you won’t shirk at the first sign of trouble.

4. Widen Your Stance

When you widen your stance, it tells the world that you need more room. That you demand more room because the small box that you originally occupied is too small, and you need more room to accomplish that things in your life that you need to. So of course you need more room than the people around you, what’s wrong with that?

When you combine it with standing straight, it gives a confidence stance. Please keep in mind, you don’t want to be spreading your legs too far, just take a step out on each side does the trick.

5. Push Out Your Chest

Push out your chest and pull back your shoulders. Puff out your chest proudly, and pull back on your shoulders just enough to feel a bit of tension on the back of your neck. This gives you the appearance of exposure, and a fearlessness that shows that you’re not scared of being vulnerable. It shows you’re prepared for whatever gets thrown your way.

When you use this in tandem with widening your stance and standing up straight, you have a stance that makes others want to catch your eye, and shows your true confident self.

6. Keep Your Hands out of Your Pockets

One thing I can never stress enough, KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR POCKETS, and more than that, don’t cross them either. Keeping your hands free like that does two things, it doesn’t give the impression that you’re submissive because your hiding part of yourself, and it tells people that you’re more susceptible to conversation because you aren’t presenting a stone wall of indifference.

I’ve always done one of two things with my hand if I’m not sure exactly what to do with them, I either gather them into fists on put them on my hips, kind of like superman (though when I do it I look considerably more like peter pan…). Or if you’re used to having your hands in your pockets to much, hook your thumbs in your belt loops, it gives that comforting feeling similar to sticking them in your pockets but your hands are clearly free so that image of submission isn’t present.

7. Turn Your Chest and Shoulders

If you turn your shoulders and chest to the person whom your speaking or listening to, it shows that your giving them your full attention, which is fine in a normal conversation (of course when your flirting with a member of the opposite sex, things get a little more complex but I’ll save that for another article). It shows that you care about the others thoughts and that you want to hear from their place of expertise.

8. Mirror Their Body Language

Mirroring their body language is an easy and subtle way to create a connection with someone. Mind you, you don’t want to change positions every time the other person does the moment after they do it, but if you give it a little bit between their shift and yours, they won’t notice it. They’ll strangely feel strangely more open to you as a person and the conversation the two of you are having.

9. Turn Your Head Up

When you’re walking or talking or just standing in place, turn your chin up a bit. Nothing major, you don’t want to look down your nose at someone, that makes your stance goes from confident to arrogant, and that’s a shift you want to try your best to avoid because nobody likes someone who’s arrogant.

So how do you know if your head is turned up just the right amount? With practice of course, use a mirror to look at yourself and judge how much of a turn you need, shouldn’t be more than an inch. I love to use this comparison, think of superman when he’s proud of what he’s accomplished, that slight chin raise, that’s what your aiming for.

(Note: You’ll notice a lot of people turn up their chins slightly when they’re feeling accomplished)

10. Speak With Your Hands

Using your hands shows your expressiveness. It also shows that you’re imaginative, and that you’re in tune with yourself on a much higher level than previously thought, because your entire body is being congruent with itself. Subconsciously you’re taping into your emotions, showing passion is always a sign of confidence!

They also act as a remarkable eye-catcher. So those people who stare at their phones all day even when in conversation will be hard-pressed not to look because you’re creating more of an interest, something to lock onto easier.

If you went out today, and started using these ten techniques that I’ve described here, you’ll see a warmer and much more open reception from anyone you stopped to talk to. More then that if you ever lose track of that sense of Confidence in your mind, using these basic steps are an easy way for you to pull your mind back into place, almost like a place marker for your Confidence to hang onto, or a conduit through which it can flow!

If you’d like to know more about Confidence, click here!

For more posts on body language, click here or here!


Stevenson Grey