Motivation and Momentum


I’ve said in a large amount of my posts on here that this stuff builds upon itself, so naturally, you get a sense of momentum forming. But the fact of the matter is you have to keep yourself motivated in order to properly learn and comprehend all of the information you’re reading.

Have you ever tried reading a book or a paper that you truly aren’t even a little bit interested in? If you look at the information presented as some sort of chore and not an endeavor of some kind, it isn’t going to be of any use to you, it’ll go through one ear and out the other as it were.

If you truly want to change, you have to know that it’s an investment that you’re looking at. You really cannot just treat all of this stuff as a one and done kind of deal.

It’s a process that takes each person a different length in time, and keeping motivated can be taxing at times. The momentum will come later, but it’ll only appear if you have the proper mindset when you work on these skills.

After a short while of following a routine, your positive motivation will turn into a natural momentum that drives you. The best part about this practice that I’m about to show you is that it’s useful across the board, I’ve done this exact method when I’ve worked on any new skill, and has become an invaluable practice that I recommend to anybody if they have the desire to learn something new, but don’t know how to keep themselves on track.

The determining factor in this whole thing is how much you’re willing to put into it, because you’ll get out of it what you put into it. Now you don’t want to push yourself too hard otherwise you’ll experience burnouts, and those aren’t fun. But keep in mind that if you put in too little you’ll find yourself drifting off course easily, and you won’t take away a true grasping of the information because won’t have the desire to do so.

If you commit the proper focus and give each skill it’s due time to develop, you’ll find that it not only develops in a pattern that seems much more natural, but it develops quicker. Over time you’ll notice that because of the repetition you’ve developed, your range of abilities is much larger then if you’d just ignored them. I don’t remember who said it but there a saying that I love, “Tinker in everything, but master nothing”.

Learn as much as possible, but don’t spend so much time that you lose yourself. As you use this process time and time again, it’ll become a natural way of operating for you. After all, repetition is the key to developing a habit.

Once you have it down, you’ll find that everything becomes much more invigorating and exciting to take on. Things that were once simply obstacles that you had to smash through or climb over simply turn into challenges to test your strength and conviction.


When you look at the world, the one thing that is the most valuable thing in your life is obviously you. You’re the automaton that is currently operating this machine chugging towards your destination, so whatever you view is the most important thing you are actively involved is your center of focus. It’s clearly where your attention lies, therefore it’s the biggest and most important thing in your focus, and as a result it gets the most growth or progress.

When you think on how you view each situation you’ll notice that every time you’ve been forced to do something against your desires, you almost become a stone in a way. You sit there and adamantly refuse to enjoy it, because you’re viewing it as homework or a chore when you could be doing any other thing that you know for a fact that you enjoy. So why Bother learning something new in the meantime when you have all the time in world later to do so?

Yet what happens when you encounter something that suddenly catches your interest, you devote an almost unhealthy amount of time to it? A solid example from my life has always been television, full disclosure, I used to suffer from intense screen addiction. To the point where I actually didn’t have a television in my house for a couple years just so I could focus on more important stuff.

Like life, and sleep, ya’ know, important things of that nature. Back to the point though, I used to just let TV encompass my life because it interested me, and I started to view anything else as simply a chore. It took a long time for me to discover things that interested me outside of that electric box, and an even longer time to figure out this system to help me streamline anything wanted to learn.

I treat my time is if every second is important to me somehow. I notice that if I treat the skill sets I’m trying to acquire or the abilities that help me progress, like I treat the things I enjoy the most, that everything was much more vibrant. Everything I work on is all aimed for one thing, helping me progress towards my goals.

So this is what I say to you, treat your progress and your time as an endeavor, treat each moment as a step toward your goals. Every moment spent in distraction and boredom is simply floundering your abilities, so get out of the thought process that everything is just a chore. Treat all of it as if it’s helping you, and you simply can’t go wrong.

When you think of things in terms of bettering yourself and working towards your goal, you’ll notice that you start having a motivated mindset. Something that makes you want to reach out, learn and encompass as much as you can to add to your arsenal of skills to call upon when they’re needed most. When you find that unquenchable drive to succeed, you can harness that power to think in terms of both your present and your future and the best route that you can think of to get there.


So one of the best ways to stay encouraged is by creating a web of people that are encouraging you in their own way. Whether it’s holding you accountable for something, giving you a swift kick in the ass, or encouraging you and congratulating you on your new achievements that you’ve recently completed and pointing out how much you’ve grown in the scheme of your life and the pursuit of your goals. Just about anyone close to you can be of help, but you don’t want to recruit someone who is only going to detract you and deter you from your goals, but don’t be afraid to think out of the box in terms of people that might be able to help you with it.

The best way to recruit people that will encourage you in your pursuit is to talk to the most positive people you know. Friends or family usually work the best as they’ll normally listen to you happily talk about your new conquests, give you advice, and all around push you to get better at your skills.

But don’t only think about recruiting people in terms of positive encouragement, we all need a kick in the rear sometimes to keep us plodding along, so I highly suggest speaking with your closest friends, the ones that have been with you for some time. All you have to do is ask them straight up to give you a solid push in the right direction if it really comes to that.

The reason I suggest this last part comes from personal experience, if this is a skill set that you truly want to commit to you need to be able to maintain your focus on it. Our minds are very okay with just wandering, so having a gentle guide and a fierce shove to keep you stay on target works quite easily.

I know this because I used to have difficulty staying on task, I used to have difficulty staying with one thing and used to jump from thing to thing. So having a few of my closest friends alert me when I was doing just that gave me that firm jolt that I need to stay on track.

Another solid method for building up a support network is to get others involved in the same thing you’re into. In terms of social skills, there are tons of people who struggle when talking to people, so I’m sure you have friends that you know that are in the same or a similar boat.

So why not bring them into you inner circle? Bring them with you when you go out to work on socialization, push them in the same manner they’d push you, work together to build into social skill masters.

Believe me when I say, there’s nothing quite like having someone who’s the same skill level as you when you go out to meet people of the opposite sex. Even if you’re just going out to meet people in general, you two become a cohesive unit, and it feels as though nothing can stop you.

Another good tactic is to find yourself a mentor. I try to use this tactic with ever skill set I work towards, someone you can ask for advice when you’re not sure where to go. Someone that’ll give you insider information that gives you an advantage against others in the field.


Another very useful tactic in the fight for learning a new skill is time management. Devising a plan to sort through your time that you have available to dedicate to learning the new skill (in this instance Social Development). It doesn’t have to be something ridiculously exact and specific, but if you have a general plan and have a way to keep track of your journey through each leg of the path you’ll be able to look back and keep everything a little more cohesive.

Progressing with a strategy is always more effective then going in blind, because while that may work, it’s going to take a hell of a lot longer to get everything straight. Makes things a little more clear.

  1. Schedule Time Everyday

While it doesn’t ALWAYS need to be going out to meet people everyday (although I highly recommend that), you do need to schedule time everyday working towards you goal at the end of this road. The more time you spend working on this, with the research, and the approaches and the development that goes along with all of it, you’ll find that you progress at a much quicker pace because you’re not losing anything.

You’re taking a step forward each an everyday, so it gives you a step up against the slackers who take massive amounts of time off and only work on it sparsely. With the work you do each day, you’ll find that you eventually run on a momentum, so you look forward to the time you spend each day learning to be a social individual.

When you work towards something each day, there’s an added benefit of it becoming part of your daily routine. At that point scheduling isn’t a hassle, it’s something you force, because you WANT to learn this stuff so nothing is holding you back anymore.

  1. Write Down your Progress and Discoveries

Writing down everything guarantees that you won’t need to re-learn those skills, because you have it written down, so you can go back and look through your notes. Sometimes it stays a little more clear if you look back through your notes, because it’s a little more personal. You can hear something in your own words, hearing our own voices is comforting, and it’s a lot easier for us to understand what we’re talking about then it is for anyone else to discern our babble sometimes.

When you look back on your notes you give yourself a solid structure as well, as it allows your thoughts to build on each other, even if you have to write down the same notes a couple different times.

One added benefit of writing it down is that it also helps you remember it better, it’s similar to the process of speaking aloud where you’re putting down you keys and wallet and phone. It helps the brain compartmentalize the information, using it immediately keeps the info fresh in the front of your brain so that it’s easily accessible and ready for use when you need it.

  1. Reward Yourself When you Accomplish a Goal

I find that it’s ridiculously necessary to implement some sort of reward system every time you finish a goal, no matter how big or small. Whether you grab your favorite dish, or go get food with your closest friends.

The process behind this is one that helps build on the motivation, it gives you something to look forward to as you progress through your steps. In a really weird way, it almost teaches you a trick, in a manner a little similar to a dog. When you put out your paw, you get a treat, it’s a terrible metaphor, but the best one that I can think of at the moment so it’ll have to do.

One added benefit of adding rewards to the lineup is the fact that it also adds a good memory that ties in with the victory, almost adding sugar to the accomplishment. So when you look back, it automatically ties in that awesome feeling of the reward next to the amazing feeling you had progress further in your journey.

  1. Set a New Goal When you Accomplish the Last

NEVER FORGET THIS, when you finish your last goal, you must absolutely set the new goal. It assures you that your going to keep moving forward, you keep your eyes on the horizon, and it makes you keep your mind focused.

It helps keep you in the mindset that there’s still more work to be done. If you don’t get yourself a new goal right after the last one has been accomplished, you risk getting caught in the floundering mindset that comes with getting lazy. You don’t want that to happen.

It also adds the benefit of creating a new workflow, and that’s a powerful tool. It creates a standard in your head that you’re not going to be able to stop until all your desired dreams have come true. And believe me when I say that each time you accomplish one of your goals, it’s a miraculous feeling, one that never gets old with each time you accomplish it!

  1. Make it fun, Don’t Stress out too much

Now I’m not saying to not push yourself, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no reason to be running around like a big ball of stress all the time. So try to keep things light, after all, all of this is a learning process, and quite an enjoyable one at that, so don’t be afraid to laugh a little more then usual. Tell crazy stories of your adventures while trying to master this process, and have a good old time with it.

The progress you make is a testament to how good you’re doing, and how much better of a socially well-rounded person you are, it’s amazing! The best way that I’ve found the keep yourself from stressing out too much from this is simply to view a lot of it as mastering a new way to make friends, and hopefully one day meet the love of my life. It’s just a way for me to get better at talking to people, keep that in the forefront of your mind and you’ll be surprised just how well and fun the whole thing truly is.


In everything you undertake, there’s going to be some sort of adversity, this is just a part of life, it tests us all the time to see if we’re truly up to the task. I won’t lie to you, there ARE going to be some struggles learning this skill set.

But you need to keep going, each time you figure out some sort of obstacle that was blocking you, or devise a way to get around a wall that you figuratively hit, you’ll see the benefits to learning these things. Whatever happens, you need to keep yourself going, don’t allow yourself to fall under the depths and stop trying, because once you do it makes it almost impossible to get back up, these tests will fade as you get better and better at this, I promise.

You need to discover a way to fight back against negativity, most notably, the people around you that are negative in general. When I started all this, I wasn’t exactly a negative person, but I certainly wasn’t nearly as positive as I am now.

My closest friend at the time was a young man who we’ll call Mack, I’m going to keep his name a secret because he’d probably kill me if he knew I was writing about this. The entire time that I was learning this, he would constantly try to tear me down, and it drove a wedge between us because he didn’t like seeing his friend get social and positive while he refused to progress as a human being. I learned to ignore his negativity, never try to argue with someone like that.

It’ll leave you in an angry state, and sometimes cause you to judge yourself and doubt your plan, but negative people only act that way because it’s the only way they know how. If you choose, you don’t need to view the world in such a harsh manner, the world is a beautiful place, and if you decide that you want to get as much as possible out of it there’s no reason for you to have to settle for something so dark in it’s place.

The Motivated, Social individual that you are wants to experience life to the fullest, and works towards his goals to see it so!

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” – Confucius


Stevenson Grey