Eight Tips to be More Likeable
Eight Tips to Be More Likeable
So recently, I was asked by a new reader for some tips, nothing unusual, so I of course said yes. He asked me for a small list of tips that he could implement RIGHT NOW, and start getting a better reception from people. So I referenced him to an article I wrote on my last website…which I had forgotten that I had shut down.
I apologized profusely, because of course he was disheartened when he realized it was a dead link, quickly thinking off the cuff like a ninja, I gave him the tips that he could use. I also asked him to stay tuned this week, because clearly I had a new article that I need to work on. Social Skills and Dating is a process that needs to be worked on, but everyone need a solid starting point to jump on board with right?
So without further ado, I give you this week’s article, a rather fitting last article for the year I think, why not end at the beginning? Eight tips that you can implement right now, to get a better reception from people! Cue the awesome headings!
SMILE BIG! I’m not even kidding, In America smiling is the number one way to put people at ease around you. Smile with your teeth showing too! You’re showing an absurd amount of confidence this way, and therefore your basically telling the world that everything is going to be alright.
Alongside that, have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who isn’t smiling? If you pay attention, it can be quite difficult, mostly because our brain is telling us that they don’t WANT to be spoken to, they want to be left alone. So in a weird way, not smiling while talking to someone is going to end the conversation quite quickly.
Talk With Your Hands
Be a little more passionate in conversation by using hand gestures, you’d be amazed how much more people pay attention to you when you do so. In Italy, the person with attention on them generally has their hands raised to keep the focus on him, so when you use your hands, it’s a similar gesture indicating that the focus is on you.
The second thing to note here is the if you’re using your hands to talk, you are also subconsciously capturing everyone’s attention. It’s almost like when you walk down the road and someone waves at you and you barely catch it, your attention is drawn to that person immediately.
Use your Palms
You notice too many people pointing at others in conversation, if you’re one of these people, knock that off right now I’m being totally serious. Pointing at people is overly aggressive, it’s basically indicating an attack on their personality. I’ve always likened it to being poked in the chest, even if they don’t make contact, it’s still super rude, especially in the United States.
Instead, gesture to people using your hand with your palm up, which is much less harsh, and shows that you have nothing to hide, your extending a hand of friendship even. You’re basically inviting people along for the ride by reaching out to them. So remember, keep the finger pointing where it belongs, in the ether.
Use a Positive Inflection When Using Names
This is a little trick I picked up early on in my social skills development, if you say a recently introduced person’s name with a positive inflection, it does three things for you. The first is that repeating a person’s name shortly after meeting them helps your own brain remember it, which is useful. Hearing a name in your own voice helps catalog it in your brain which is always helpful.
Two, having the positive inflection in the voice makes them feel special, it’s clearly a pleasure to meet them and it puts a happy little smile on their face, (but it’ll almost always be subtle). Finally, having that inflection makes you remember the person with a positive image (or at least a slightly more positive image). So in every case, using this trick is useful, and only works to your advantage.
Tell stories! Without a doubt, this has to be my favorite part of talking to people. It allows people to envision what you’re saying, so the better you get, the more descriptive you are. Story Telling can be helpful, because you never know when your conversation partner, or partners as the case usually is, will remember a story of their own.
Trading stories is amazing fun, because most people have awesome stories to tell, and when you bring them out of their shells, they’ll reveal amazing wondrous things you’ve never realized about them, and that’s always a cool experience in and of itself.
Future Projecting with someone is a great tool, because you’re tying your futures together, not in any literal way of course, but usually in a colorful, unique way, whether it’s a serious plan or not. Future project is similar to story telling in that it’s a wonderful way to garner the attention of those around you, but no matter how many people you use it on, it’s a great tool to connect with people.
It’s also an amazing tool in terms of telling ridiculous stories, if you manage to get good with story telling, bouncing between that and Future Projecting is easily one of the best tactics you can use with speaking with people (just don’t be constantly telling stories, too much and you might come across as a brag, but more on that later).
Also, while they tell you accomplishments and things about themselves, don’t be afraid to get super supportive and happy about it! Getting excited for yourself is one thing, we all do that. After all, they are our passions, but getting excited for someone else? That’s the real kicker!
If you support others passions, you giving them a small boost of approval and happiness, after all, they were brave enough to admit they’re passions to you right? Validating their joy makes them just as excitable, and all the more invested in their passions! So remember, if they’re telling you about what they care about, pay attention, because they’re showing a vulnerable side of themselves.
Lift Your Head Up
This is an easy way to get a better reception I’ve found. I used to have “turtle syndrome” (Please Note: I’m no Scientician, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t an actual thing) I used to pull my head down to cover my neck and slouch super hard core to subtly try and keep my weak points covered, just because I wasn’t confident.
Raising my head up showed my neck, and more then that, it made me more interactive in the conversation, more invested in a way. Ultimately it helped me listen because it produced a more confident mindset, and as an added bonus makes you look like your paying more attention in a conversation.
So There you go, 8 of my beginning habits to get you running, these aren’t a quick fix, but they are little things you can implement immediately without too much change. 8 Little things that you can work on right now that’ll put you in the running for social skills development.
So what are you waiting for? Your still reading, write down a small list on a sticky note, jump in the car, head to the mall, and socialize!
For more basic information on Body Language Click either link below!
For information on Conversation and Making Changes Click Below!