Social Proof – The Social Butterfly Theory

Social Proof – The Social Butterfly THEORY


Photo Credit Goes to Chris & Karen Highland

Let’s take a step back for a second, close our eyes, and just daydream for a second. Imagine yourself walking into a party, and suddenly, you just kick into gear. Before you even get to the opposite doorway in the front room, you’ve talked and said hello to each group of people.

Before the night is over, every person at the party has had a conversation with you, and you’ve left each talk on great terms before turning and immediately bouncing to the next group of people. You’re on fire, and now you’ve found  an awesome girl who’s staring at you like a rockstar! Let the scene fade away and come back to reality after that goodnight kiss, and you’ve witnessed the theory of Social Proof!

If you dive into the world of dating advice, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve come across the theory of Social Proof. As far as I’ve seen, there’s two different mindsets when it comes to this process.

Either you’re completely for it, or you don’t really view it as necessary!

Some experts, such as Nick Savoy of Love Systems  claim it as being a key part of meeting women. It’s a common thread of thought that building you’re social proof, that it makes meeting women, and people in general much easier. I personally know a few members of the dating community who swear by the methodology and keep it in their repertoire!

Yet others, such as Chase Amante of Girls Chase, suggests that Social Proof is a good process to have, but that relying on it can ultimately become a hindrance! He states that if you depend on Social Proof, it can create problems such as giving yourself an excuse to not approach women by hiding your approach anxiety. Which if I’m being honest, is a totally valid concern.

So, how do we go about using social proof effectively? What is social proof at all? Is there more then one kind of social proof that you can use? Most importantly, how does social proof get the girl?

What is Social Proof?

Social Proof is the process of increasing your value in the room by having everyone show you respect. Talking with everyone in such a manner that they like. Basically, that man or woman who seems to be a star because everybody is clamoring to talk to because they just seem to be the ultimate social butterfly.

Now I’ve been told that there are three ways to build social proof. Three ways to show the people around you that you have High Value.

  1. Enter into a room and bring a large amount of women with you
  2. Take the time to build up a reputation at a specific location
  3. As soon as you enter a room, bounce between groups of people so that people recognize how social you are

The first two ways, I don’t enjoy using at all. The first because I’m not the kind of guy who typical surrounds himself with women, not that I don’t enjoy it mind you. It’s more because I really enjoy getting to know one random Girl, that’s just a personal preference.

The second because I’m not really the type to spend that much time at a particular location. I do live in the big city, so I often find myself bouncing between different bars whenever I go out, simply because I can. So to be honest, while I can see the validity of using both to build a reputation of social proof, I personally cannot see a long term benefit of using either.

As soon as you lose that gaggle of women, or go anywhere other then that bar you’ve build up a reputation at, you no longer have thew social proof you’ve grown used to, and therefore will have the potential to just get sucked up in your own head. So I’m going to lay out what is, in my opinion, the best method for using Social Proof.

Using Social Proof Effectively


Being a Social Butterfly is possibly the best and easiest way to use Social Proof. It’s simple and quick, but there’s a trick that you need to know how to do if you are going to add this skill to your repertoire which I’ll explain.

Simply put, when you’re going to a party or a bar with a lot of people, when you enter, the first thing you need to do is bounce between each group of people, and befriend them. You don’t need to become best friends with every person in the room, but you do need to have a small conversation with each group of people!

Basically what this does for you is it exposes everyone to your personality, and it shows everyone else that you’re confident enough to just be friends with everyone around you, that you’re open-minded enough to not judge people and do you’re best to naturally entertain people! Once you’ve done that, as you encounter people, shoot them a quick high-five and talk to them again to solidify your proof to the room around you, simple enough right?

Now for the tricky part. You didn’t think you’d get away without having to work a little bit did you?

The Issue with this kind of Social proof

Social Proof of this nature gears people into the mindset of being an entertain as it emphasizes building friendships with people around you. But you need to be careful, because it’s too easy to get stuck in entertainer mode. At some point during this process you’re probably going to encounter a girl or two that piques your interest enough to grow attracted to her.

So you need to be able to drop into seducer mode. After all, being an entertainer isn’t going to be enough to get the girl. Don’t depend on the social proof to be enough to make her attracted to you.

If you’re going to use this tactic, realize that it isn’t a substitute for confidence, it’s a way to help supplement it. What that means it before you just run out and start using Social Proof and getting frustrated as to why you still aren’t having a lot of luck with women, learn to build you’re confidence!

Remember that in the end, all of the tech in the world isn’t going to make you an attractive individual, there’s no single line or method to use that will give you a 100% success rate. Sure, you can apply everything to help you along the way, but women don’t fall in love with Techniques, they fall in love with strong personalities!

But that doesn’t mean you can’t practice it along the way, Take what you’ve learned here, run out tonight (It IS Friday after all), and try using Social Proof, and see what you think about it!


Stevenson Grey

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