First Date Etiquette
First Date Etiquette
Butterflies in your stomach, slight sweat sitting on your forehead. As you drive to her house, your stomach feels queasy. You have a million though flying through your head, looking forward to tonight, yet being super nervous and almost begging for a way out of the situation.
Maybe you all know what sort of night I’m talking about…It’s the exciting yet dreaded first date.
So then while you sit there, panicking over what you might say and trying not to freakout and just ditch, let’s back track just a little bit, so I can give you some solid tips to ace that ever important date. I’m going to give you five really huge tips that I ALWAYS do when I go on these dates. They’ve helped me create the chemistry necessary that I need to count the date as a total success!
Why is it SO important to nail the first date?
In all actuality, if your going out on a first date, chance are (unless it’s a blind date) that you’ve already met the individual whom you’re going out with. Which means that you’ve already gotten past the first impression.
So then, why do we need to ace the first date? I’ve always accounted it to three huge reasons. I’ve always loved this quote from the movie Hitch…
“She’s already attracted to you, she’s already going on the date with you, all you need to do, is not mess it up!” – Hitch
That’s right, it sounds like a lot of pressure, but trust me when I say that after you go on a few of them with the knowledge of what you’re doing, you’ll start to get a string of hits! A first date is a practice of showing somebody who you are when you’re spending time with people, a game of connecting with someone, and an exercise of safety. What I mean by that is that if you want to show somebody a good time on a first date, you need to show that:
You’re fun to be around, that you’re present in the moment, and that you can provide a safe environment for her to be herself in (and hopefully, eventually a space that she can open up to). So to me, every successful first date that I’ve had has had these five things in common.
Tip #1: Get Creative
Nothing is more exhausting then watching a first date be composed of nothing but dinner and a movie. I absolutely despise this as a first date, I try and do just about anything else.
It’s a date, you’re trying to show this girl you’re inventive, so you chose dinner and a movie? No matter how you play it, you’re either trying to rush through dinner to hit the movie, or you don’t talk about anything but the movie during dinner, boring.
I always try and do like an activity like ice skating, or hitting a concert. Usually I hit the activity, then have a half plan for a dinner after that. Basically, when I’m creating and forming a plan for a date, I try to push things that I enjoy into them.
So, if I was a huge fan of walking through the city and it was a nice day out, I’d suggest going for a walk, things like that!
Then I play it by ear in case anything goes wrong, or we decide we aren’t hungry but want to do something else. But make sure that whatever you do, it’s clear that it’s a date. How?
Tip #2: Break the Touch Barrier Immediately
I have to give credit for this tip to Christian Hudson of The Social Man. For a long time I had difficulty with trying to break the touch barrier, and so my dates would never have any intimacy. Afterwards when I would try to break that barrier, it would be forced, and awkward, and honestly there wouldn’t be any passion in it.
Plus if you ever take the advice from the first tip, and decide to opt out of dinner, you can easily differentiate that you are on a date by breaking the touch barrier. So then, what’s the proper procedure for taking a girl out and breaking that barrier?
When she gets over to your house, or you meet her at her place, or even if you meet her at the location of the date walk up to her and give her a hug. Then you immediately kiss her on the cheek of the side your head is resting on. Finally, when walking to whatever it is you’re doing, take her hand in yours.
Simple enough right? (Plus the kiss on the cheek makes her wonder about the possibility of actually kissing you kid)!
Tip #3: Use her name at least twice
This sneaky little trick was something I read from an article a long time ago (If I ever find that darn article I’ll link it, but the internet seems to have made it vanish!). If you want to show how attentive you are, and create some chemistry, say her name twice on the date in normal conversation.
By that I mean find a way to work her name into conversation. Basically that subtle little reminder that you remember her name will make seem like there’s more of a connection.
Just saying her name to the waiter, or asking a question and using her name to get her attention. I noticed how much better my dates started going almost immediately after I started using this!
Tip #4: Pay Attention to What She’s Saying
What great things can’t I say about the movie hitch? This tip I got from that movie as well. Stop trying to picture her naked the entire date, it distracts you.
At worst, you sit there leering at you and come one way too strong. At best, you sit there distracted and she has to repeat herself every few minutes.
Plus I’m sure you can easily see how unattractive that can be. A man leering at a girl like a piece of meat never seems to do very well now does he?
Tip #5: Keep yourself under control
Finally, and I can’t express this enough. Don’t get wasted or super muffed up in any way on a first date. If you smoke or drink to take the edge off, do so sparingly.
Women don’t really appreciate being on a date with a muffed up lunatic. It makes you look as if you’re too invested in the party life and can’t keep yourself under control when the need arises.
Plus, if you take it too far out of hand and black out or get too drunk or anything of the sort, then the girl is left taking care of some dude she doesn’t even know. Not the best situation to be in.
Basically, when your on a first date, they want to see you happy, they want to get to know you a little better, and they want you to want to get to know them so. But as a side note, you don’t need to spill your entire life story on them on the first date, that’s too much information at it’s best on a first date.
So what are you still doing reading this for? I just gave you five awesome tips! Straighten out that shit, stand tall and proud. Just remember I’m rooting for you as you use all of this information.
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