The Five Things A Man Needs
So things in life have been…frustrating for a lot of people lately, myself included. I’ve had a very drastic change in my world (which I’ll explain next week) and had to rush to try and get things going. I’m still working on that first part, but I needed a little while to gather my thoughts. So this week, I’ve been asked by a couple of readers for a few solid things that each guy MUST HAVE as a basic tool kit. So after some careful consideration and a lot of thinking, I think I’ve stripped it down to 5 solid things you must have in your toolkit.
Luckily for you, they are all attainable things. Things you can purchase or learn to help increase your toolkit, things that can be improved upon to build it’s necessity. To me, the toolkit is basically the multi-tool that helps cover all the basis of any interaction you may need! Use them both freely and wisely, remember that they are yours to do with as you wish. So instead of running around in circles and being super vague about this whole thing, why don’t I just get into it already right? Okay, so the five things you absolutely must have in your life are these:
#1 – The Smile
The Smile is the easiest and quickest thing to develop on the planet. For those not in the know, I mean simple pulling the edges of your mouth into a grin that you can use to help increase both your comfort level and that of everybody in the room. Now while you don’t want to go all joker about it and have an absurdly huge smile (Though arguably he is confident…), it’s not difficult to manage to build your smile. All it requires is a bit of time spent in front of a mirror and a bit of willpower.
As for the kind of smiles that you can use, there are two major ways to properly handle your smile. Both require the proper facial muscles and a bit of figuring out. For more detailed information click on this link, but I’ll give you the basics below.
The smile is pretty easy to accomplish, but even easier to mess up. Remember that a smile requires two sets of muscles, your mouth muscles, and the muscles next to your eyes. So when you take a picture with a smile that looks fake, its because you’re only using one set of those muscles properly (It’s also where that terrifying serial killer stare comes from as well). A natural smile makes your face move, not just your mouth. The secret to this is the squinting your eyes just the tiniest bit.
The smirk is essentially a tight lipped smile that you mostly spreads across your face a little more subtly. The point behind the smirk, is to help more when you’re flirting with members of the opposite sex, or when you’re trying to keep things a little bit more smooth when it comes to speaking with people in general. This tight-lipped smile, which you combine with squinting your eyes ever so slightly, is a solid way to increase both your own sense of confidence and make you more mysterious to those around you.
#2 – The Wings
No not literal angel wings…though that would be cool. What I’m talking about here are your wingmen and wingwomen. This goes beyond just flirting with girls and how they could help, your wing men and women are the people that inspire your life. There’s a saying in business, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Which is absolutely genius in my opinion, because it makes sense. The five people that you spend the most time with should be driven, hard-working, and encourage growth in their lives and in yours.
Think about it this way, people that don’t really have that kind of encouragement in their lives, the people who don’t feel driven by their environment, usually have friends who feel the same. Your environment is invaluable in every sense of the word. It has the biggest impact on you, and the best part is it’s completely wrapped up in how you’re handling your life, IT’S CONTROLLABLE. Start with the people you’re hanging out with if you want to get farther in life.
#3 – Skills
Next are the skills, once again, I’m not talking solely on your ability to communicate with people, I mean the hobbies and skillsets you encourage in your life. Every person has and needs skills to get them through life, things the make them stand out among the crowd, they’re what get your a job, and help encourage your extra curricular activities. The best part is that every single person has a different set of skills! After all if you think about it, its the reason why you work where you do unless of course you’re a millionaire and don’t work at all anymore…which still required skills to get there.
What you need in this department is a series of different skills from all over the board. Research, develop, do everything you need to to make sure that you have all the necessary skills to survive. More then that, keep adding to those skills as well, develop the ones you know, build those skill trees. The older you get, the more beneficial it is to have as many skillsets as possible, makes things cheaper, and you never know exactly when you’ll want to use those skills. Plus, you’ll be able to use those skills in conjunction with other people’s skills, collaboration is the heart of success, so they say.
#4 – A Fitted Suit
Now this isn’t as…versatile as the other things on the list (unless of course you mainly wear suits like Barney Stinson). Regardless of your style as a man, you absolutely need at least one well fitting suit. If you have a suit but it doesn’t fit the best, hike yourself over to a tailor you can trust. Do’t have one, get a recommendation from a friend or look one up. If you don’t have a suit but know your size, just hit a suit shop and get one stat.
If you’ve got no idea about suits, suit styles, or about men’s style in general, that’s okay to. Just hit one of the many men’s style blogs online. A couple of the ones I always recommend are Real Men Real Style and Gentlemen’s Gazette. Both Blogs are solid gateways into the world of men’s fashion, which is far more expansive then most people realize.
The Fitted Suit is basically your credentials to every formal event. Weddings, Funerals, Galas, it doesn’t matter what events happen to be. Usually, you’re going to need a suit. Unless your willing to drop some money on a bunch of different styles it’s highly recommended that you just go with a black suit, white shirt, black tie. The reason for this is that it covers every base you can imagine with formality. Some events are black tie specific, so you cover that base well.
If you don’t have this yet, add one to your wardrobe.
#5 – The Confidence
I know exactly what your thinking, “I don’t have confidence, I just isn’t something you get”. You’re right, this one is going to take a bit of time to develop, but it is something you learn! If you need a place to start when developing confidence, always look inside. Reason being is that having confidence in yourself is going to be your basis to developing confidence in other areas of your life. What I mean by this is that you should follow the steps to developing confidence in yourself, take on challenges you always wanted to and shore up the inconsistencies in your own sense of confidence, then focus it outwardly. If you need an article to start you off, check out this one.
All five of these things are very necessary in your life, especially based on the culture here in America. Hence the reason why they’re all put together as the basic toolkit you’ll want to start with if you have absolutely no idea where to begin! thinking on it, the more I write this post, the more it makes me think as to whether I should put together a short eBook describing how to acquire and build up these things.
If you want to start changing the way your approach things, think on how these five pieces will increase your life standing. Working on these will let you approach challenges with a smile, friends who have your back, the skills to handle problems, dressed well, and confident! At that point, you’re basically a rockstar in the making aren’t you? So get to work as soon as possible, do one small action today to get the momentum rolling!