Ready Or Naw

A Note from Stevenson: Hey Guys! This week I’ve got a special treat for you! I reached out to an old compatriot of mine from a while ago. He’s quite astute about the mind of dating nowadays. He’s quite aware that we need to be aware of ourselves before we can date others. A.C. is pretty damn smart, so I asked him to take on a guest post for you, the first one ever on The Social Write!

Give him your full attention, he’s got some funny stuff!

Hit it A.C.!

I know a lot of things about a lot of stuff. Well I think I know a lot of things about lot of stuff anyway. Truth is I can only reliably tell you that I know I’m broke (re: the last time I had a comma in my bank account was 2013…for 3 days), tired (aren’t we all?), and I’m hopeless with relationships. So if you think you’re ready for a relationship, you should probably do your best to not be me. All jokes aside, there’s quite a bit to think about before you dive headfirst into labels/commitment/purgatory with reckless abandon.

Here’s a simple checklist to follow (no particular order). Tally them up as you go.

1. You’re financially stable/independent.
2. You have energy to do other things than nap and Netflix in your free time.
3. You have free time.
4. You know basic life skills (like fine dining and breathing).
5. You understand Spongebob references (are you too cool to admit it?).
6. You don’t feel entitled to things.
7. You maintain an adequate level of personal hygiene (brush your teeth, shower, shave, etc.).
8. You have goals (no one wants to stay with someone without ambition).
9. You don’t own a fedora (seriously, get rid of it).
10. You can laugh at your cringiest moments and know how bad and cringey it really was because obviously if you think that Sandra (name changed to protect identity) is just a bitch for not falling in love with you after you were there to cheer her up after that douche-monger Rob (actual name) broke her into a tiny million pieces and you were there with a tub of ice cream, the mother fucking Notebook, and a carefully practiced song you wrote consisting of four simple power chords any 4th grader could learn in ten minutes to pick you up and put you back together one careful puzzle piece at a time. Fuck you Sandra.
11. You’re over your exes.
12. You have your own strong opinions.
13. You know when to admit you’re wrong.
14. You are aware of your worth as a person (not as a number in a spreadsheet).
15. You are happy.
16. You are confident in your skin.
17. You know that there aren’t lions in Australia.
18. You know Sandra is a lying sack of dog shit.

Now count how many of those you have checked. Now note which ones you haven’t marked. Think about those items for a minute and really think about how they might affect a relationship. If you’re unable to see how any one of these unchecked items could result in the catastrophic collapse of relationship, you are NOT ready for a relationship.

Like I said, relationships are messy. Things happen without rhyme or reason. You have to be on your toes and ready for anything to nurture a healthy relationship. Life is going to throw all kinds of things to test you and your partner. Things that you or your partner will be able to handle alone and some things that you need each other to figure out. To be ready for a relationship, a real one, you need to pull your weight but also know when to trust your partner. So, are you ready?

Keep It Chilly,
A.C.